I doubt anyone still reads my blog (with its lack of anything new). Life has been pretty good lately, I am loving my current job. Psychiatry is very interesting when you meet the really unwell patients. Then again, I suppose that is the same with any specialty isn’t it?

Hmm… 4 months of psychiatry, then I get to decide if I want to apply for it. Hmmm… Interesting.

Time to start on a new rotation and with every different speciality, there are new challenges. I am really looking forward to it. :)

Anyway, I was listening to random things on the iPod when Corrine May’s “Little Superhero Girl” started playing. After a crazy week at work (loads of public holidays when staffing level was at its bare minimum and I was part of it), I can totally relate to the song.

I feel like a little girl
Trying to conquer the whole wide world
Everybody wants a piece of me
And I just don’t know where to turn
I’ve got work piled up to my head
All I want to do is jump into bed
And wash away my troubles
with lemonade
Play hide and seek
with the boy next door
Take a trip to Singapore and
Imagine how I’ll make the world
a better place

I feel like a little girl
Trying to conquer the whole wide world

New year resolution. Yes. The list you come up with once a year, then go on to regenerate a similar one a year later. Here’s mine:

1. Get back in contact with people - I’m totally useless at keeping in touch. The only reason I still have friends in Malaysia/Singapore is because there are wonderful people that I can clique right back in with despite having not seen/spoken to/emailed in years.

2. Update this blog

3. Lose weight - This is not just because I’m female, it’s ‘cos I’m fat. Ya. Bleh.

That’ll do for now. :)

The one you thought was a foul tempered person initially can turn out to be a very competent and helpful colleague.

The one you thought was just a poor misunderstood soul can turn out to be a backstabbing bitch. (So she wasn’t misunderstood after all…)

The one you thought was a nice sweet dear can turn out to be the one who shafts you the most.

These are mere fictitious examples, of course, but you get the gist of it. The workplace can be quite complicated, don’t you think?

Let’s see, work has its ups and downs. One important thing I’ve learnt is to set boundaries and say no. This is especially important at night and over the weekends when the bleep keeps going off. There is always something to be done, and every nurse who bleeps will make the job he/she is handing over sound more important than the one before. Initially, it was difficult not to say, “yes, I’ll be there in 10 minutes”, but I quickly drove myself crazy doing that. Hehe.

For those who have been asking, no, I haven’t killed anyone. Thankfully. *gulp*

While on the phone with a very good friend some time last week, I was told to blog more often. To be perfectly honest, I have not been blogging nor reading others’ blogs much in the last 2 years. There is a multitude of excuses I can offer, but that would be a waste of time, and honestly, I don’t need to, right? After the said phone call, I sat and had a good think. A part of me truly miss the times when I could sit in front of the computer and type away and I remember enjoying that a lot. I also liked surfing my friends’ blogs and finding out how they were getting on… somehow, that all took second place when real life got busier and I just never came back.

Now… updates…

Work had started a week ago. I am feeling a lot more confident than I was a week ago, but still very very far away from being truly comfortable in my new role. Life as a junior doctor is harder work than being a student, but it would be unfair for me to whine because I don’t work half as much as my colleagues in Malaysia. To be honest, there is a part of me that is enjoying work life. As a medical student, there was a lot of waiting around and feeling like you’re in the way. Having a role and feeling remotely useful is very refreshing and I do like it.

Having said that, things may change by this time tomorrow. I go on nights today and yes, I am scared. :P

This is my new friend, we have a love hate relationship. I love it when it’s silent.

However, life is riddled with these tunnels and I am about to enter one of them. Come Wednesday, it will be the beginning of a new phase. I start work as a FY 1 (JHO, HO, intern… pick your terminology). Am I scared? Definitely!!! Although there will be seniors from whom I can get help, I’m no longer a student and need to start taking on proper responsibilities. Am I looking forward to it? Of course! :) It is going to be tough, and there will be times I regret my career choice or want to huddle up and cry but it is also going to be an exciting challenge.

Sitting in a whirlpool of anxiety and excitement, and fluctuating between the ups and downs that accompanies these sorts of waiting, I have resigned to telling myself to take each challenge and handle it to the best of my ability… Come on, what else can a person do, right?

As for Mr Sun, I think he is a little overworked here… should definitely take a break. A couple of day’s break would be good.