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January 28, 2005
Smokin' Ladies
In one of Aunty Lilian’s recent posts, she said that it is different when men and women smoke. This is actually more appropriate as a comment on Aunty Lilian’s blog, but it will be too long to fit into one comment, so well, why not have it here.
Initially, I quoted her entire post here, but while trying to shorten this post, I removed it. Please check out her post here.
After reading the post, the impressions I got were:
1. Men smoke due to pressure to earn money and smoking helps men think of fantastic idea in order to earn money.
2. Women are not under similar pressure, therefore they should not smoke.
3. Young women pick up smoking in order to measure up to their peers (aka so-called women’s rights)
4. The effects of women smoking is greater than that of men smoking.
5. Women are beneath men such that we should be judged by different standards. (This is how I interpreted the post, all writings are left to the reader's interpretation, right?)
Firstly, I feel that although pressure may be a contribute to smoking, it is not a good enough reason to pick up smoking. In fact, there are no good external factors that can be used as a reason for a person to start smoking. Don’t blame stress, don’t blame friends, and don’t blame fanciful advertisements from tobacco companies. These may be contributing factors, but ultimately, if a person picks up smoking, it is because the person chose to do so. Be it due to the person’s lack of willpower, the person’s curiousity, the person’s inherent hate for his/her health or just because the person wants to smoke, it is an internal thing.
Next, many modern day women work and make financial contributions to the family. These women are under the same pressure as their male counterparts to make ends meet. On top of this, many of them also need to juggle the pressure of looking after the family, because, fact it, asian societies still expect mothers and not fathers to be the ones tending to the children’s needs, and to be the one doing the housework. (Granted that there are maids and that people are becoming more open about househusbands, but we’re still not there yet.)
Thirdly, on measuring up to their peers, yes, maybe in a few cases it may be so. However, another way to look at it is that society is becoming more open to women smoking and unlike the olden days, young girls are now allowed to go out and mix with people thereby coming in contact with friends that smoke and hence being given more opportunities to pick up smoking. In many other ways, women are measuring up to men, think of how girls excel in school, how women climb corporate ladders, and even the rising number of female politicians. However, women may not excel just because we want to show that we are as capable as men, it may be just because society is finally slowly opening up to allow equal chances for women to prove ourselves, compared to 50 years ago, more opportunities are now available to women.
On the next point, what is the difference between the consequences of women smoking and of men smoking? Smoking mothers result in unhealthy children. Yes, smoking fathers may not be the reason of having children with congenital defects, but are the effects of a father smoking less detrimental to the family? Both parents play an important role in the structure of a family and in the upbringing of a child. No matter who smokes, no matter who suffer health problems, the entire family will have to bear the consequences. A smoking father increases passive smoking of the children, a smoking father is a bad example for the children, a sick father adds to the burden of the family etc. Are congenital effects worse than having a broken family or a constantly ill father? I don’t know, but like Hai Liang will say, if anyone’s interested, that’s a topic for another day.
Lastly, are women beneath men? Should we be judged by different standards? Men and women are different, we're made differently. As a result, there are some things men may be better at (eg. physical strength) but at the same time, there are also things in which women do better. No, women are not beneath men. Nature made us different, not inferior. Therefore, the only times when different standards are used should be when the "differences" I pointed out earlier gives either gender an unfair advantage.
To end off, I’m not saying that it is right for women to smoke, it isn’t. The picture of a woman smoking turns me off more than that of a man smoking. Don’t fault me for it, I grew up in a society which accepts male smokers more readily than female smokers, I get affected. However, logically speaking, it is equally bad for either gender to smoke and there is nothing that is “alright” for men to do but not so for women. And no, we do not need to fight for women’s rights, because women already have rights to begin with, we need to fight for the progression of society to accept recognize these rights.
Posted by yeepei at January 28, 2005 11:26 PM
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Comments
same here, that's the impression and gist of wat i got when i read the entry by aunty lilian. (i think alot has been said about it, so i'm not going to add..)
but hey.. isn't it the same when society doesn't recognize women's rights and when the rights don't exist? i guess that's where the fighting for rights and sometimes the 'over-fighting' comes in.
my relatively confusing two cents as usual. cheers.
Posted by: milvoon at January 29, 2005 02:09 AM
I've got probs putting my thoughts across sometimes... erm... dunno if it makes sense, but I'm trying to say that everyone's born with the same rights, but these rights don't take effect until society recognises it..
Posted by: YP at January 29, 2005 02:14 AM
you're right here girl! call me if you need support on this. its wrong for *men* AND women to smoke. different effect yes, but its still bad.
Posted by: jeyadev at January 29, 2005 02:27 AM
Whoa, is a debate gonna happen for this motion? The post sounds like a debate speech, but no structure, hehe. Practising for Asians and Australs? Hehe.
Posted by: Elena at January 29, 2005 09:47 AM
debate? no ak. :P
Posted by: YP at January 29, 2005 09:58 AM
>> everyone's born with the same rights, but these rights don't take effect until society recognises it.
Unfortunately, when it's a patriarchal society (and has been for a long time), then men's rights are seen as more important than women's, therefore take precedence over women's rights, which is why women have to fight for their rights, or rather for recognition of their rights to be of the same importance as men's. And we're all conditioned to accept that men's rights are more important, and even that men are "better" than women, which is why in some societies, boy babies are still preferred over girl babies, and girl babies are still drowned or abandoned, and women who give birth to boy babies are "honoured" more than women who give birth to girl babies. I could go on but I think this is going OT from your smoking ladies topic.
Posted by: Chet at January 29, 2005 10:39 AM
Now i know where sensible people are hiding.....
Exacty my sentiments...and i cant see what happened after my posting because she banned me from it....talk about censorship man
Posted by: Pooi San at January 29, 2005 11:38 PM
Heehee, wanna blog 'bout censorship? :P
Posted by: YP at January 30, 2005 08:17 AM
you read too much into it. I'm sure 'auntie' lillian isn't trying to degrade her own sex. i agree with her.
Posted by: TJ at January 31, 2005 01:58 AM
TJ (erm.. are you the TJ I know? or another TJ?), I doubt Aunty Lilian was degrading her own sex, and I never said she was. It may be just her mindset/thinking. Then again, all writings are left to interpretation and what I wrote is just my interpretations of what she said.
Posted by: YP at February 1, 2005 09:52 AM
Lucky that Michael and me don't smoke.
Posted by: Emily at February 3, 2005 11:58 AM
Hi Emily...
Er... Michael as in Michael Ooi? As in, you're that Emily?? :) Hey! Didn't know you read blogs!
Posted by: YP at February 3, 2005 01:29 PM