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A year ago
3 June 2008This time, a year ago, I was stressed up with 3rd year finals and was moving house at the same time… then I got the first of her SMSes, instructions to publish a blogpost, her last message to her family and friends. I still remember how I felt then…
“What??? What’s that silly girl up to?? OMG. She can’t be for real. No. She can’t be. It’s just one of her odd calls for help! She won’t do it for real”
I called her, and called her, AND called her somemore, she didn’t pick up the phone. And I smsed her… and her replies scared me even more. I was in tears and at a loss… I got in contact with J, neither of us could figure out where she was. Fei got me on the phone, and when I told him about the 2nd msg, he could guess right away where she is. He found her, but too late… Till this day, I hate myself for not having contacted him earlier. I should have!!! What was I thinking??? He lives the closest to her, he grew up with her, of course he’d have known where she was when she said she was 30 floors up!!!
I remember being on the phone with Paul when he was at Vista. I remember talking to Nick and Fei as they were crying. I remember the countless phonecalls I made to our group of friends. I remember not being able to say goodbye properly. I remember hearing her songlist being played in the background when I spoke to friends at her wake.
A year on, I still cannot understand fully why she did it. I miss her… a lot… I can’t read her postcards anymore! I need her to come back, where is she???
on June 3rd, 2008 at 3:58 pm
we are here for you…. you know where to get us
on June 3rd, 2008 at 4:09 pm
yp….i remember you telling me on the phone to be strong. i remember hugging fei and crying unconttollably. i remember the guilt.
but i remember her. her laughter. her jokes. her antics. her smile. her generosity. i remember all the good memories too.
on June 4th, 2008 at 1:25 am
I miss her too.
on June 4th, 2008 at 4:00 am
We all missed her too. None of us would understand why. None of us will ever know why.
on June 4th, 2008 at 7:22 am
*hugs* back
take care hun