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Reality Sux

6 June 2006

I was at campsite. It was the last day of the Thai RC visit and I was talking to the their teacher. Kevin tapped me on the shoulder, I turned to him and he said, “Do you know Jane? Used to be from TD?”

The first image that came to mind was that of Jane ma’am walking into campsite, carrying her helmet… I think it was during one of the course camps. “Yeah, Jane ma’am.”

“Just heard from Lawrence. She passed away.”

I stared at Kevin. I didn’t know what to say. Hoping that there was a miscommunication of some kind between the two, I went to call Lawrence. But there wasn’t. She died in an RTA. Law had heard it from another TD senior, and apparently it was in the news too.

JF sms-ed me the following evening, telling me that they were at her wake. It was for real.

I was overcome by shock and by my sudden hate for reality.

I never did get to know her well. When I was a cadet, she used to be one of the instructors we rarely saw at course (at least not the year I was in EVIC)… but she did come for camp, I think. Unlike other instructors, she did not make an impression by being wonderfully nice or being labelled a horrible sadist… she was obviously different from other girls her age. You can tell just by looking at her. She just stood out from the crowd, a different air, a different aura.

When I became an instructor, she was the senior who I remember always looked jovial. I always thought she was really cool… especially with being a rugby player, an RC volunteer and a biker all rolled into one. It’s a pity though… during the short time when I was an active volunteer, she was busy with other things in her life.

I now have something to add to my list of regrets. And this new item says… “not having gotten to know Jane better.”

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